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dreaming love madness Process weekend

Miracle Happens

It’s really important to have some stories in life of being blessed – it’s really needed to make someone feel lucky. I should be thankful – my life is full of such stories.

sometime i really feel that i am here all because of my fortune – actually i don’t deserve all these things… that also frustrating! when i try to foresight my future, i can’t breathe… it seems more complicated… more heart breaking. i don’t know why but i just can’t find any good up there. now days i feel pain all around my brain. i know some other of my friends with the same problem and i think it’s a common rising problem of people of my age. few days ago at a certain moment i was dying for a place to let my sight vanished… a place to stand for few moments motionless. but i’ve felt very sorry to found that there is actually not such a single place in this city. i don’t know why i am still living… it shouldn’t be a life where there is no good ahead. i never wanted to see me so hopeless…

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beyond madness Process sleepless nights weekend

limiting dreams

it’s very bad time… in every way. i can’t explain it and i can’t hold it. sometime it seems i am making it worst… why i am not ignoring it?


i was talking with one of my friend:

helal: wat u think abt nature:
me: i wish to die when i found it very beautiful
h: wat da definition of death to u?
m: the deepest sleep… i felt it sometime – forgetting about my existence… as if i am nothing
h: if u blv in religion – its not like tht – death is something different
m: i know that… but i have some other thinking – for bad the sleep is full of bad dreams – and for good… it’s painless
h: only romantic ppl speak like this – its not true – incorrect hypothesis – bad dreams and even pain vary among ppl – its all about how you preserve ur doings – because – dreams are projected from ur memory cell – if u can forget… dreams are always painless – some ppl even dont dream anything

h: death – some ppl await death

h: ppl die in some cases – even if they can take breathe
death is to me, the termination of some state
1. careness for anything/anybody
2. urge for any expected incident to be occurred
3. charm of life
m: well said – i agree
h: lol – and ppl expect death in some cases (except humaiyan the great)
1. when he/she finds no way out
2. when he/she cant tolerate the insult
3. when he/she loses the most precious thing(local idea) of his/her life
locality means the limitation of knowledge – wat he thinks true in local can be false in global – so as human being most of the time cant see the life as whole – his thoughts are limited
m: i don’t know so many things… but i am finding some similarities with my thinking
h: because in knowledge, i live in the same domain – so there must be similarities
m: to me… it probably could be an exit of the pain i am having now

Categories
Process

Born in Rain

I came to know from my mother that the day I was born was the 8th long consecutive day the sun wasn’t seen. It was raining and raining – all through the days and nights. May be that’s why I like rain a lot.

Last year on this day it was raining the same way and that was one of the most memorable rainy story of my life. I wanted it same way this year too.

Though it was raining in the last evening but now there is no sign. When it was raining I was on the street and there was a thought in my mind – what is the first thing I can remember from my childhood?

How many days I’ve already spent from my lifetime? I guess the bigger half is gone. Oh, there are lot to be done yet! What should I feel now. It’s better not to be worried and keep counting the rest part of my life.

Categories
madness Process sleepless nights

half full vs half empty!

summer :: rainy season :: nature
summer :: rainy season :: nature


first of all i’d like to add three of my recent works which i’ve done as my academic projects… as i’ve promised in my last post that i’ll let you know some updates about my work. well, i believe i am a good worker. so if you ask me about that, it’s normally a positive answer. i still have some running projects in my hand which i know will be appreciated. but i could find a gap somewhere in myself which really rising some question ahead me. what’s the problem with me? i always dream about a simple life… ‘simple but valuable’… at least valuable to me. but… i could find lots of ‘but’ which i don’t like. i don’t want to see me confused…

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madness Process sleepless nights Universe

I can see the season changing…

fire on bosundhora city shopping mall

I was thinking to write something as I think always. Sometime it happens like a fountain… words start coming… I just need to move my fingers. Who invented the keyboard first? The best thing of writing on a keyboard is you don’t have to bother what you are going to write. Well, I think my subject wasn’t ‘writing on a keyboard’. …So I was thinking to write something. It’s such a long time I didn’t write anything. now I am counting… how did I pass my time? Today, it was raining in the evening. It’s the first heavy rain of the year for this city. So it has feel outside that something has washed away and if I look through that window I have to reconsider my last comment “I can see the season changing when I look through the window. I can feel it sometime when I walk under the sun… everything getting so harsh… even me as well…

One more thing, whenever I saw other blogs, I found many useful things like some technical tips or something that might help with your works. But I am not sure… is there anything useful here… in describing my crazy thoughts? Well, I think better if I share some of my experiences. Now I am working with a project of redesigning country’s most popular newspaper website and as well thinking to redesign lifearoundme.com too. So let me finish these jobs. I have some stories to tell you…

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Insight Process sleepless nights Universe witness

the year 2008

the year 2008

this post should be published earlier of this year as this was mostly written on 29 december of last year…

This is going to be the last post of the year and I was thinking about the whole year when writing it. The first thought that came to my mind is I am getting closer to a destination… this is weird thinking but obvious… I’ll die! I could remember one of my childhood friends who got sick and died within 24 hours before starting any serious treatment. I often remember him and still can’t believe though it happened 10 years before. Two weeks ago another known face disappeared though as far I remember I never talked with him. But after getting the news I can’t forget the face. And lastly, one of my uncles died last Monday who was one of most talented but has been treated as ‘wasted talent’… that’s a big story. So I am thinking about my death. What probably could happen then? I don’t know and I can’t guess anything but I am thinking lot about it…

Last Friday on my way back to home I was thinking and found myself so happy. 2008 should be said as a year of achievement… I’ve learned lot of things. I did some freelance works those probably mentionable. I did 2 big print design works for care Bangladesh by the first half of the year. On the second half I got the daily star website project which was a really new experience for me. As regular job in ebizzsol I have worked with several design projects within this year…like [1][2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7], [8], [9], [10] and many more…

Before everything one thing is so important… the saddest part of life is to let a wrong person knows that you love her. I wish that’d be a life long lesson for me.

Categories
madness Process sleepless nights Universe

it’s the life, around me…

thinking…

i am trying to feel the ‘thing’ which keep me busy all the time. I can’t separate a moment when actually I don’t think anything except may be the sleeping time. I am not sure… I can remember the dreams sometime, but may be my mind also keeps thinking when my body sleeps. Today on my way to office I was watching a man walking with a bunch of newspapers in his left hand. Suddenly a magazine dropped on the ground and he didn’t notice it. I think there were no other human witnessed this very silly incident. I don’t know why, I was terrified until the men came back after few moments and took the magazine… and then I thought may be that could be a story. Then suddenly another story came to my mind… few weeks back one day, on my way back to home I was talking with a rickshaw puller who was asking me about computer games. He was talking which games he mostly plays at home and why he likes those. Well, may be… actually it’s sure that I am not writing in the same way how I thought and I realized it that particular moment when I was thinking it. That means when I was thinking, I knew that I’ll be not able to write it exactly in the way I am thinking it… ha ha ha. So confusing! So then another thought came to my mind… how can I express my thinking in the exact way I think? I am still thinking and that keep me busy all the time…

Categories
love madness Process sleepless nights Universe

love around me :: when things go wrong

I am feeling jealous with those who think themselves happy in love matter. To me love is something so simple like every day’s life; you’d like to live for it. It becomes the most complicated when happens in wrong way. Before expressing, it’s not a big deal… it probably could create some deep sighs. But it could be the worst thing if it’s understood after expressing it to a wrong person. So people should think at least twice, thrice… as many times possible. It’s something you can’t withdraw. The saddest part of life is to let a wrong person know that you love her/him.

Categories
beautiful dreaming madness Process This Universe Universe witness

walk in the rain

Its the eid day morning but its raining too hard. Its good; probably its going to wash away all the sorrows, anxieties… brings freshness, happiness. Now its really raining too hard. I got up early in the morning… too earlier than normal days. I was walking through the silent village paths. It was before the rain… nature seemed bit different in it look. Its dawn but its dark cloudy… something mysterious cinematic lighting. It started raining when I was middle of the way and before I start writing I was walking in the rain. Ha ha ha… so poetic!

Categories
Process

Look Through the Window

This is one of my favorite view. I often stand beside this window – I can see a lake, a canal taking the dumped water of the city to somewhere, a rail line, passing train, hurrying people, running vehicle, burning sun; even sometimes the gloomy moon!

Often I count the number of compartments of a train, sometimes try to realize how a day dissolve into night, try to figure out how many windows I can count – it’s endless.

Sometimes I think about how many people live in this city. I don’t know the number but I know everyone of them keep an individual world around them. It’s different from each other. It has joy, sorrow, complexity in their own way.

Few more pictures here.