i am trying to feel the ‘thing’ which keep me busy all the time. I can’t separate a moment when actually I don’t think anything except may be the sleeping time. I am not sure… I can remember the dreams sometime, but may be my mind also keeps thinking when my body sleeps. Today on my way to office I was watching a man walking with a bunch of newspapers in his left hand. Suddenly a magazine dropped on the ground and he didn’t notice it. I think there were no other human witnessed this very silly incident. I don’t know why, I was terrified until the men came back after few moments and took the magazine… and then I thought may be that could be a story. Then suddenly another story came to my mind… few weeks back one day, on my way back to home I was talking with a rickshaw puller who was asking me about computer games. He was talking which games he mostly plays at home and why he likes those. Well, may be… actually it’s sure that I am not writing in the same way how I thought and I realized it that particular moment when I was thinking it. That means when I was thinking, I knew that I’ll be not able to write it exactly in the way I am thinking it… ha ha ha. So confusing! So then another thought came to my mind… how can I express my thinking in the exact way I think? I am still thinking and that keep me busy all the time…
I got the mark sheet of bfa final year exam yesterday which made me realize how bad student I am. I was never a good student and to be true I don’t have the quality to gain a brilliant academic result. But I always like to act as if I am a good student… how foolish I am! After getting the mark sheet, I went to the chairman of the examination to ask him about it. I was trembling and I didn’t find anything to say… I could remember my works that I did for the exam and realize how silly works these were! Sometime I loose my respect to my teachers when they failed teaches me to respect myself.
I’ve published a post in my previous blog about LOVE few months ago. So far it’s still one of my best writings. Well it’s not a big deal, but I yet didn’t able to say that girl about what I feel about her. Though I’m not sure if it’s called ‘love’ but this is still the biggest mystery to me.
To be honest, I often find myself thinking about this girl. I’m sure she has no idea about it and now when I’m writing this line, it seems something very silly. But again, it’s damn true.
May be that’s the most interesting part of love – it may sounds silly but no way to overlook. Sometime I find myself so unlucky, again so lucky!
Love could be a problem but we dare to face that problem, everyday.